“So speak encouraging words to one another.
Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this,
no one left out, no one left behind.
I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11, MSG
When my husband and I had been married about 3 months, I visited my parents—you know, the old “shop in Mom and Dad’s pantry and do laundry for free” routine. As I helped my mom prepare the evening meal, I spoke to her about married life. I shared how much my husband meant to me, some things we enjoyed doing together, and discussions we’d had. But as much as I loved him and loved spending time with him, I missed having friends. Then my mom asked the craziest question. “Have you prayed about it?”
That thought had never occurred to me! Turns out, God thinks having good friends is important, and it wasn’t long before I met a woman at church who was the answer to my prayer. At first glance, we didn’t even seem compatible, but God has a way of making the most amazing things from what seems completely unplausible or impossible!
God made a helper suitable to the need
Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘I see that it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make the companion he needs, one just right for him’” (ERV). God created Eve for Adam. The Hebrew word for this companion or helper is ezer. It means a helper suitable for the task, corresponding to the need, complementary.
I find this particularly interesting, because if I take that same concept and apply it to friendship, it explains why I felt something was missing in my life. No person could be all things to me—only God can be that, but a good friend could bring added depth to areas of my life that fell a little flat.
Friends help us see things differently, give varying perspectives, offer wisdom, and add humor and fun to our days. Friends bring value corresponding to our needs, and friends are a gift from God.
Proverbs 27:9 says, “Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence” (TPT). What a beautiful picture of godly friendship!
Friends bring value corresponding to our needs, and friends are a gift from God.
Our prayers never stop
My husband and I have been married 28 years now, and have two adult children. It is easy to get bogged down in the routines of life: work, family, home, and church. As someone who is remarkably introverted (though I know people who like to argue this fact with me), I can stay so busy that I never even realize I’m missing out on anything. There is always something to do, and on the off-chance there isn’t, there’s a book to read! A year ago, I didn’t even realize anything was missing in my life. My life was filled with “busy.” Then a lady from church collided into my routine and brought a couple of other ladies with her.
Several lunch dates and a group prank or two later, I realized that my life had been missing something. I didn’t know it, but God did, and that prayer I’d prayed 28 years ago was still working on my behalf. He sent these women to speak life and bring a new level of joy to my days.
In 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, Paul gives instruction to believers in Thessalonica about being watchful for the Lord’s return for His bride. Among his list of important admonishments to the church, he includes, “Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing” (verse 11, AMP). Paul is saying, “You are already encouraging your brothers and sisters in the Lord. You are already encouraging your friends. You are encouraging your family. Now keep it up! Don’t stop encouraging, comforting and building up one another.”
No one suffers from over-encouragement
Paul knew the seasons ahead would be dark, and we would need people with the ability to speak life, hope, and joy to keep doing the work of ministry. We need friends to bring wisdom, correction, and joy as we walk out God’s individual plan for our life. No one suffers from over-encouragement, so who are you encouraging?
Proverbs 18:24a (NKJV) says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” My mom would translate that, “Be the kind of friend to others that you want to have for yourself.” The passage in the Amplified version, however, brings even greater understanding. It says, “The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin, but there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.” Having a lot of friends doesn’t make the biggest impact—having the right friends does.
Do you have the right, godly friends who inspire you to keep pursuing Him? Are there people you can count on for support, insight, mentoring, acceptance, and kindness, all while keeping you grounded? Do they make you laugh, cry, and go on adventures full of silly shenanigans? Do they remind you to spend time in the Word and trust in God for every need? Are they people who hold you accountable for being so immersed in activities (work, reels, social media, television) that you don’t even realize you’re missing out on some of the important things in life?
We need friends to bring wisdom, correction, and joy as we walk out God’s individual plan for our life.
God has big things for our future, and He knows it isn’t good to do them alone. It’s said, “it’s lonely at the top,” but it isn’t if you bring people with you! When God is calling you to do something, it’s helpful to have people who challenge you to pursue your dreams and press in to that still, small voice for direction. You need people who will encourage you to keep going when you feel every door between where you are and your promise slamming shut in front of you. You need the right friends for the right seasons.
If that isn’t something you’re experiencing right now, have you prayed about it? You are important to God, and He needs you to have the encouragement to not give up on the thing He put in your heart to do. He needs you to be that kind of friend to someone else, too! God’s call on your life is as unique as your fingerprint, and you need the right friends to keep pushing you (kicking and screaming) to the very end. It might even be that when you start looking for how you can be a blessing and encouragement to someone else, that is when God will bring that same kind of person to you!
I want to pray for you.
If you’re reading this, know I am praying for you. I pray God will bring the right friends into your life—friends who will be some of your greatest cheerleaders, friends from whom you can ask for help without the feelings of shame from failure or fear of embarassment, friends who will complement you and be suitable for the task of being your friend.
Friendship is part of God’s plan. He knew it wasn’t good that we do life alone; He knew we needed friends. Philippians 4:19 (AMP) says, “And my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” He will answer your prayers and even bring the right friends to collide with your life.
Blessings,
Holly
Follow Me!(Only as I follow Christ!) You can follow me on Instagram @hollydmurray Click HereLet’s Be Friends!Like and follow me on Facebook for more encouragement!Click Here
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Looking for why God might call you to do something out of your comfort zone? Read “Dust Off Your Dreams” for more encouragement.
Dust Off Your Dreams
“Each of you has been blessed with one of God’s many wonderful gifts to be used in the service of others.
So use your gift well.”
1 Peter 4:10, CEV
As a child, Saturdays were for more than Bugs Bunny cartoons and a bowl of sugary cereal. Saturday was also our dreaded “clean-the-house” day. Armed with Old English polish and a clean rag, I swiped the dust from shelves in the kitchen and the wooden surfaces in my parent’s living room. Dusting was one chore I shared with my three brothers.
As an adult, I have stayed quite busy with all the things—family, work, church, and friends. Time flies when you’re having fun! However, there was a dream planted in my heart years ago, lying dormant and untended.
I could feel it tug at my heart. “Hey remember me?” my dream would call out. But the perceived pressures of performing, consistency, and perfection made me push my dream to the side in lieu of the dust on my coffee table. So, with a rag in one hand and polish in the other, I distracted myself from my dream as I wiped the dust away.
In 2 Timothy 1, Paul encourages Timothy not to be bashful about using his gifts to share the Good News. Paul says to “stir up the gift of God, which is in you.” He was telling Timothy to fan it into flames so it would grow from a small, burning ember of desire into a roaring, effective fire.
You, like me, have a gift from God. 1 Peter 4:10 is one of my favorite scriptures, and it says, “Each of you has been blessed with one of God’s many wonderful gifts to be used in the service of others. So use your gift well” (CEV). Have you been using your gift fully, or are you so busy with all the things that, like me, your gift has a little layer of dust gathering on the surface?
When you feel that uncomfortable tug reminding you God has
something special for you to do, I’d like you to remember these three things:
1. God is calling you because He has someone in mind whose life will be pulled closer to Him because of your obedience.
2. God is calling you because He wants to stretch
your vision, abilities, and capacity to love other people.
3. God is calling you because He wants you to trust Him to help you through the process.
God loves you, without question. But His heart is always for the one – the one who feels forgotten. The one who is lost. The one who is running. The one who is ashamed. The one who is afraid.
I have been that one.
In explaining God’s heart for the one to the disciples, Jesus says in Matthew 18:12-13, “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go in search for the one which went astray? And if he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine which never went astray” (MEV).
God is looking for the one to come to Him, and He uses His imperfect, busy, often-distracted people to show them the way. Will you ignore the call? Will you, like I have done so often, find all the things that need doing and stay so busy doing them that you drown out the voice which is softly and tenderly calling you forward?
The great news is that today is Saturday! It isn’t too late to dust off your calling and tend the dream God planted in your heart! Take some time to think about the aspirations smoldering deep within you and ask God to show you how to make the next step in walking out that call. Before long, your dream won’t just be dusted off; it will be blazing!
Blessings,
Holly
Follow Me!(Only as I follow Christ!) You can follow me on Instagram @hollydmurray Click HereLet’s Be Friends!Like and follow me on Facebook for more encouragement!Click Here
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